It was about 11:30 in the nite n I was bugging a few friends online when suddenly I got a call from a frnd…she’d been a complaining about her life being so monotonous off late…but I could make out from her voice that she was very upset then …things were not going well at work so she wanted a break….i tried to console but it wasn’t helping n I knew she was in tears as she put the phone down…. Now…I can tolerate most things like…being forced to buy vegetables by mom….finding my comp table being turned into a dressing table by my sis…but seeing a friend like this is just not on for me. So I decided to give her a little surprise…next day about 1am..i called her up
Me : hiii…kya kar rahi hai??
She( wid a big yaaaaawn) : kuch nahi..bas wohi bouring office..
Me : mood thik hua kuch??
She : not much…luch karne ja rahi hoon
Me( trying hard not to laugh) : achha..akele akele….mujhe bhi bhook lagi hai
She(getting a bit irritated ) : toh tu bhi aaaja
Me: achha…yeh baat..le..aa gaya
She: kyaaa??
Me: yess madam…main aapke office ke bahar khada hoon…jaldi bahar aaja
She (waiting for me to end dis crap so dat she can start her lunch) : plzz..mera mood pehle hi kharab hai..abi to plzz fone rakh
Me (giggling) : bete..hum kahin bhi pahuch sakte hian..hoohoohaha
She(fuming now) : kya tera dimaag kharab ho gaya hai..kya subah subah chadha rakh hia tune??
Me : arrey tu bahar aayegi..main yahan dhoop main khada hoon
So…after a lot of convincing she finally came out..n got a real shock to see me standing there. And just when I was waiting for to say something like..”hey…its so sweet of u to come here..i really wanted to go out 2day”…she hits with “tera dimaag bilkul kharaab ho gaya hai..tu bilkul pagal aur gadha hai”…..but I know…she was really happy to see me…the 100watt smile being the proof.
We went to the Priya complex( humare bihar ke bhaiyon ke liye…priya complex is one of d coolest hang outs in delhi.)…had lunch at pizza hut…she did some shopping while I checked out the gals dere…dropped her back to office…n got a 1000watt smile this time.
The place brought back some fond memories of college days when we used to come here quite often…As most engg students…we were always broke…and only priya’s among all the multiplexes here has d option of cheap front row tickets. People always complain about the leg space at most theatres…but we guys just coudnt understand this problem…coz..sitting in the 1st row…we had all the room in the world to spread our legs…also the ‘Big Screen’ experience gets even more bigger in the front row….Even if the movie turned to be crap..like in the case of kisna….paheli..n a few more…we used to have a great time. Watching couples coochie-cooing everywhere…we used to wonder ”humara number kab aayega???”
There was this one incident which was so embarrassing…but yet very funny…Me…vaibhav…n kaushik…had planned to watch a movie at priya’s…I don remember d name…but what I do remember that it had turned out be really pathetic and we were passing the blame on each other for deciding for this movie as we entered pizza hut. As always…we took a long time deciding our order…I would be having spicy Indian pizza…while kaushik n vaibhav would be going for exotica pizza….a young girl came to take our order…kaushik…holding the menu in his hands…trying to look more sophisticated in a call-centre type accent said…” 1 spicy Indian..and 2 Errotica pizzas pleasse”
There are moments in life when time just stops…like when Tulsi(in kyuonki saas...) drops a glass full of water when she hears that her husband had been sleeping wid anoder woman….the action replay of the scene is then shown from five different angles with a dramatic background score…this was the kind of thing that happened there when mr kaushik ordered for errotica pizza…instead of exotica….time stood still
I looked at vaibhav and he looked at me…both of us not saying anything but our mouths wide open…n then we both looked at kaushik…his face was as blank as my radar engg answer sheet during final yr exams..…n of course…his mouth was open too…he knew that something was terribly wrong…but coundt figure out what had turned all of us in a statue….he just didn’t have a clue about what went wrong…the girl….half shocked…half embarrassed….managed to gather herself and went back…it was then we explained to our friend…that he was so damn lucky not to have been slapped by that lady….
as she came back with our order…we tried to avoid any eye contact with her….we were just so embarrassed....she kept the pizza in front of kaushik saying…”heres u’re exxxxotica pizza sir”….with a lot of stress on the word exotica….but to the relief of all three of us…she saw the funny side of it…n went back with a smile….and a potential disaster was decided…and I’m sure…kaushik remembers this whenever he places an order in pizza hut.
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
kati patang
Another 15th august went by as we celebrated our 59th independence day. 59 years, since the tricolor was hoisted on India Gat for the 1st time. And though we’ve had our fair share of problems as a nation….like poverty…corruption…unemployment and of course our lovely neighbors….but the positives still out number them any day. Most importantly India can feed its own people…yes we have enough food to feed even the poorest of the poor. But our nice politicians make sure that they rarely get it. Also we have a booming economy which is proven by the fact hat my pocket money just got an appraisal…and also India became a nuclear power.
No….I’m not the prime minister reading out his speech on the Red Fort at 8:30 in the morning I Day…n even if they did make me the PM one day…nothing can get me out of my bed that early…and that too on a holiday. So without caring what Mr Manmohan Singh had to say about the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai and the about water crisis my bathroom…I was only concerned about how I would beat bittu at kite flying today.
(note1: bittu is my neighbor’s son who is half my height….n just over half my age but still comes out as the winner in kite flying every Iday)
Now kite flying is an age old tradition in our family…with my dad n most of my uncles being a rather good at it…. it was a thing that I was just expected to inherit…but fate had other ideas…..my tryst with this harmless looking piece of paper started when I used to visit my cousion at Iday…he was the James Bond of this world in those days…with his large black kite creating mayhem across the sky. It appeared like a big wild shark gulping up small n helpless fish….as the other pink...green…red ones ran for cover at the 1st sight of this black monster. Yeah….my bro was a master…n he would be on the terrace that entire day with his shades on and his music system playing Daler Menhdi…n other popular Punjabi numbers at full volume. My job was to hold the charkhi properly as he went about his merry business of spreading terror.
(note 2: for those of u coming from Pluto…i don know the eng for charkhi….all I can say it’s a wooden thing on which the razor sharp thread is wrapped around)
And while trying to keep the charkhi at an optimum angle so that he got an uninterrupted supply of thread…I used to think that I was also flying a kite(hey…I was just a kid then)
I thought that kite flying was a team sport n we both were like Leander n Mahesh.
But as time went on….my bro got into some more series stuff like…making a career…getting married….and I finally realized that I was just a ball boy…n not a team member…but still we had some real good times…and ended the day being tanned to the extent that we looked like the members of the Nigerian ice skating club….and with about 20 cuts on our fingers.
And this time….even with my bro not being there…I’d pledged to win my family’s name back…in what was once considered the sport of the kings. I’d got this extra sharp Bandar chaap maanja.... which according to the guy selling it ..could even cut through steel…
so as far as mr bittu was concerned …it was payback time….n I was hoping that the wind was real strong today…coz if that doesn’t happens…my kite…..with a supersonic jet figure on it…wont be getting off the runway.
In other unrelated and unimportant news….i just watched kank. Now like everyone..i was eagerly waiting for this movie…n for the 1st time in many years…had got my tickets reserved in advance….The movie was ok-types…a bit too emotional and heavy for me…but with an interesting story line…about extra-marital affairs…rani mukharji bursting into tears almost every 5 minutes….and then the break ups in the end…But as for me…the only things that ends up breaking when with a girl ..is usually my head…and this movie was going over my head most of the times… in the end left me confused about who among the four characters did the wrong thing
And can someone please help me in my protest to ban two things in a theatre…cell phones…n babies….Its becoming a routine affair these days…you in the middle of this edge on the seat movie..trying to figure out…vijay ke baap ka kaatil kaun hai…aur bindu ke pait main pal raha bachha kiska hai…And suddenly the cellphone of the fat guy sitting next to you starts ringing with the tone….”aahiq banayaa” ..for the next 10 min you trying to find out why didn mr Bhatia send the payment on time…seriously some people lack the basic common sense.
Still… you can ask a ‘grown up ‘ guy to shut up…
But what do you do about a 3 month old baby….who has just decided that hes had enough of Jitendra’s dancing exploits…and starts to howl with 3d surround sound effects which could beat those at all the PVRs.
So the next time you go out for a movie thinking that a real sweat girl or some handsome guy(for the female readers) will be sitting next to you…just remember that things can go wrong both in reel…and real life.
No….I’m not the prime minister reading out his speech on the Red Fort at 8:30 in the morning I Day…n even if they did make me the PM one day…nothing can get me out of my bed that early…and that too on a holiday. So without caring what Mr Manmohan Singh had to say about the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai and the about water crisis my bathroom…I was only concerned about how I would beat bittu at kite flying today.
(note1: bittu is my neighbor’s son who is half my height….n just over half my age but still comes out as the winner in kite flying every Iday)
Now kite flying is an age old tradition in our family…with my dad n most of my uncles being a rather good at it…. it was a thing that I was just expected to inherit…but fate had other ideas…..my tryst with this harmless looking piece of paper started when I used to visit my cousion at Iday…he was the James Bond of this world in those days…with his large black kite creating mayhem across the sky. It appeared like a big wild shark gulping up small n helpless fish….as the other pink...green…red ones ran for cover at the 1st sight of this black monster. Yeah….my bro was a master…n he would be on the terrace that entire day with his shades on and his music system playing Daler Menhdi…n other popular Punjabi numbers at full volume. My job was to hold the charkhi properly as he went about his merry business of spreading terror.
(note 2: for those of u coming from Pluto…i don know the eng for charkhi….all I can say it’s a wooden thing on which the razor sharp thread is wrapped around)
And while trying to keep the charkhi at an optimum angle so that he got an uninterrupted supply of thread…I used to think that I was also flying a kite(hey…I was just a kid then)
I thought that kite flying was a team sport n we both were like Leander n Mahesh.
But as time went on….my bro got into some more series stuff like…making a career…getting married….and I finally realized that I was just a ball boy…n not a team member…but still we had some real good times…and ended the day being tanned to the extent that we looked like the members of the Nigerian ice skating club….and with about 20 cuts on our fingers.
And this time….even with my bro not being there…I’d pledged to win my family’s name back…in what was once considered the sport of the kings. I’d got this extra sharp Bandar chaap maanja.... which according to the guy selling it ..could even cut through steel…
so as far as mr bittu was concerned …it was payback time….n I was hoping that the wind was real strong today…coz if that doesn’t happens…my kite…..with a supersonic jet figure on it…wont be getting off the runway.
In other unrelated and unimportant news….i just watched kank. Now like everyone..i was eagerly waiting for this movie…n for the 1st time in many years…had got my tickets reserved in advance….The movie was ok-types…a bit too emotional and heavy for me…but with an interesting story line…about extra-marital affairs…rani mukharji bursting into tears almost every 5 minutes….and then the break ups in the end…But as for me…the only things that ends up breaking when with a girl ..is usually my head…and this movie was going over my head most of the times… in the end left me confused about who among the four characters did the wrong thing
And can someone please help me in my protest to ban two things in a theatre…cell phones…n babies….Its becoming a routine affair these days…you in the middle of this edge on the seat movie..trying to figure out…vijay ke baap ka kaatil kaun hai…aur bindu ke pait main pal raha bachha kiska hai…And suddenly the cellphone of the fat guy sitting next to you starts ringing with the tone….”aahiq banayaa” ..for the next 10 min you trying to find out why didn mr Bhatia send the payment on time…seriously some people lack the basic common sense.
Still… you can ask a ‘grown up ‘ guy to shut up…
But what do you do about a 3 month old baby….who has just decided that hes had enough of Jitendra’s dancing exploits…and starts to howl with 3d surround sound effects which could beat those at all the PVRs.
So the next time you go out for a movie thinking that a real sweat girl or some handsome guy(for the female readers) will be sitting next to you…just remember that things can go wrong both in reel…and real life.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
What the HELL..!!!
I'm at the last n final stage of limfocircoma(hope d sppelings r rite) of the inestine, liver, kideny, nose...n a few other organs too....the doctors have given up all hope n just asked my loved ones to say there final words to me...so deres a long queue outside my ICU room..(u see..so many ppl love me or may be... want dere money back)....ok...i'm not going to drag my dying scene on n on like...rajesh khanna in anand...amitabh ...in sholay...or srk..in kal ho na ho...just a few words...
mom.. dad..i know i didn turn out half as handsome n intellegient...as u thought i would...wen u 1st saw me....but i know u still love me n i love u 2...sob....sob...sob
saloni(my sister)...i know u'd like to give me the most useless n irritating elder brother of the world award...but..just to do some prasyashchit....i'm naming u as d sole owner of all my jaaidaat...which includes my cell fone..my ipod...my giutar(sob...sob)...my stinking socks...n all the oders stuff i own...
ok..i did drag that a bit...so..after a final goodbye to katrina kaif..n cathrene zeta jones...i'm dead..ya...as dead as it gets...i see my self lying on d bed in room no 13 of d ICU unit...wow..i still look handome..how d hell did she reject me...
and just when i'm reflecting on my rather...waste of a life...i see a an escalator..made of somke..leading towards the sky...i step on it...n really enjoy the next 10min..going thru d clouds...waving at people in passing areoplanes(which resulted in some rather strange expression from then)...n almost bumping into an eagle...
at the top..i meet God himself..n we had this coversation...
God: sorry son..i had to bring u up at such a young age..but i just to put n end to people's misery dwon dere...
me( almost wanting to shoot him)...well..ok...i forgive u...see i'm so dayawaan..so..i'm sure u have my seat booked in heaven..
God : yes..we'll get to dat in a while..but 1st..i wanna say sumthing..u've often asked me dis ques.."main aisa kyuon hoon..batao..main aisa kyuon hoon??."...well...to be frank with you..even i don have d answer...coz when i made u..even i didn have a clue wat i'd done...i was as confused as u've been all ur life..but if i'd kept u here..i wud have lost my job...so i had no choice but to send this weired thing called You..down to earth
me'(shouting at all d pppl down on earth): u guys listening..he's d one responsible for all that mess..not me
me(to God): well..its ok..no hard feelings..with such a tight schedule...u r bound to screw up once in 10billion transaction...so..wat next for me
God: well..i'm goin to give an opportunity..dat no one in got in the past..nor anyone will get this chance in d future here.......off late...i'm getting some complains from people i've been sending to heaven.....saying dat don like it much dere...complaing abt anything and everything...n some of dem even wanting being shifted to HELL...my ratings have never been so low...so..i'll give u d chance to experience both d places...heaven n hell...n den let u decide where u wanna go...n also....prepare a report on what sort of changes shud be made in heaven..to win back my popularity from dat guy called ...'the devil'....so...r u game??
me: well...sounds ineresting...but promise me..u'll give my life bak to me ..n call me some decades later....also..dat u'll make me as rich as bill gates..n as as smart as tom cruise in my next life...
god: well..i'll have to bribe my boss...but stilll.....ur wishes be granted...u have my word..
so..i spend 10 days in heaven..n d next 10 in hell...n prepared a comprehensive study of lifestyles of people in both the places....here r some of d findings of dat study...
heaven is quite a bouring place..with no cool hangout points like..discos...malls...shopping complexes....but the zone were mr indra devta lives...being d lone exception...i mean..dis guy is d real lucky lad out here.....his mehfil goin on for ever...where apsaraaas( read item girls)...dancing all thru d nite...madrira(holy version of vodka) flowing like water..n all d lucky devtas..having a blast...n all dis time u wondered that from where did mumbai got d idea of its dance bars........but as i said...dis is d only place here...n with admissions strictly on d base of quotas(onlySC/ST allowed)...n with no one to make a fake certiaficate....u might as well forget abt being let in....n vaunder aimlessly in d so called beautiful 'heaven' of montains..valleys...n green feilds....
on d other hand...HELL...is the place to be....with discos..nite clubs....malls..on every corner...life is a never ending party here...n anyone can visit d place he wants...no reservations crap here
movie goin in heaven is just a 'bhram' ...with sushma swaraj as d head of d censor board...u'll see a whole new version of murder....with malika weraing a burkha..n imraan hashmi in a kurta pajama...singing bheegay hont tere in a boat....n just wen they make a move to kiss..u'll see 2 sunflowers standing next to each oder....so its not hard to figure out dat in 3hr movie...u'll be straing at sunflowers for a 2 hrs...
but come to hell.....n see d magic of celluloid..n all the credits goes to d censor board cheif...mr imraan hashmi...no cuts in any movie...no burkhaas allowed...n certainly..no staring at sunfloweres...thak devil for cinema!!
fast food...is a thing never hered here...pizza n burger are as familiar words to d ppl here as microchips r to donkeys...n reason given for no Mcdonalds' here ....is dat all dat McAalo tikki burger n french fries..increase ur cholestrol..n can cause heart attak...now dey surely missed dere science classes...how can i have a have attack..when i'm made ok smoke...i mean already dead...
but as expexted..no such issues in HELL...dominoz...pizza hut have a flourishing business here
everyday routine of ppl in heaven..also needs real improvements....ppl here have just one thing to do...sit in d green grass for months...n meditate....as dere beard grows longer that kajol's hair...
well dey cant be blamed either....with all the things such as tv....cellfones...ipods...computers...internet.. all banned coz dey r 'material' things....people n just sit n meditate....one of dem told me that they r not meditating...but praying to get d HELL outta here ....
These r just some of the findings of my 2000page report...on which God will be setting a committe..to find ways to change things in heaven soon....
And so...as per the deal...i've booked my seat in hell for the future...but as of now..i get my life back,...
so....the straight line...on d machine called somthing like 'd heart beat graph'...got an electric shock...the nurse screemed....chamatkaaaaaaaar ho gaya..n fainted...when she me waving my hand n winking at her....i was alive...alive n kicking
so guys.... if u also wanna be in the most happenning place after u die....its time to put a check on good deeds u do....its time to wake up the evil in u....get out dere...rob someone...throw some one of the cliff...n get ur seat booked...before they run out...
see u in HELL...
mom.. dad..i know i didn turn out half as handsome n intellegient...as u thought i would...wen u 1st saw me....but i know u still love me n i love u 2...sob....sob...sob
saloni(my sister)...i know u'd like to give me the most useless n irritating elder brother of the world award...but..just to do some prasyashchit....i'm naming u as d sole owner of all my jaaidaat...which includes my cell fone..my ipod...my giutar(sob...sob)...my stinking socks...n all the oders stuff i own...
ok..i did drag that a bit...so..after a final goodbye to katrina kaif..n cathrene zeta jones...i'm dead..ya...as dead as it gets...i see my self lying on d bed in room no 13 of d ICU unit...wow..i still look handome..how d hell did she reject me...
and just when i'm reflecting on my rather...waste of a life...i see a an escalator..made of somke..leading towards the sky...i step on it...n really enjoy the next 10min..going thru d clouds...waving at people in passing areoplanes(which resulted in some rather strange expression from then)...n almost bumping into an eagle...
at the top..i meet God himself..n we had this coversation...
God: sorry son..i had to bring u up at such a young age..but i just to put n end to people's misery dwon dere...
me( almost wanting to shoot him)...well..ok...i forgive u...see i'm so dayawaan..so..i'm sure u have my seat booked in heaven..
God : yes..we'll get to dat in a while..but 1st..i wanna say sumthing..u've often asked me dis ques.."main aisa kyuon hoon..batao..main aisa kyuon hoon??."...well...to be frank with you..even i don have d answer...coz when i made u..even i didn have a clue wat i'd done...i was as confused as u've been all ur life..but if i'd kept u here..i wud have lost my job...so i had no choice but to send this weired thing called You..down to earth
me'(shouting at all d pppl down on earth): u guys listening..he's d one responsible for all that mess..not me
me(to God): well..its ok..no hard feelings..with such a tight schedule...u r bound to screw up once in 10billion transaction...so..wat next for me
God: well..i'm goin to give an opportunity..dat no one in got in the past..nor anyone will get this chance in d future here.......off late...i'm getting some complains from people i've been sending to heaven.....saying dat don like it much dere...complaing abt anything and everything...n some of dem even wanting being shifted to HELL...my ratings have never been so low...so..i'll give u d chance to experience both d places...heaven n hell...n den let u decide where u wanna go...n also....prepare a report on what sort of changes shud be made in heaven..to win back my popularity from dat guy called ...'the devil'....so...r u game??
me: well...sounds ineresting...but promise me..u'll give my life bak to me ..n call me some decades later....also..dat u'll make me as rich as bill gates..n as as smart as tom cruise in my next life...
god: well..i'll have to bribe my boss...but stilll.....ur wishes be granted...u have my word..
so..i spend 10 days in heaven..n d next 10 in hell...n prepared a comprehensive study of lifestyles of people in both the places....here r some of d findings of dat study...
heaven is quite a bouring place..with no cool hangout points like..discos...malls...shopping complexes....but the zone were mr indra devta lives...being d lone exception...i mean..dis guy is d real lucky lad out here.....his mehfil goin on for ever...where apsaraaas( read item girls)...dancing all thru d nite...madrira(holy version of vodka) flowing like water..n all d lucky devtas..having a blast...n all dis time u wondered that from where did mumbai got d idea of its dance bars........but as i said...dis is d only place here...n with admissions strictly on d base of quotas(onlySC/ST allowed)...n with no one to make a fake certiaficate....u might as well forget abt being let in....n vaunder aimlessly in d so called beautiful 'heaven' of montains..valleys...n green feilds....
on d other hand...HELL...is the place to be....with discos..nite clubs....malls..on every corner...life is a never ending party here...n anyone can visit d place he wants...no reservations crap here
movie goin in heaven is just a 'bhram' ...with sushma swaraj as d head of d censor board...u'll see a whole new version of murder....with malika weraing a burkha..n imraan hashmi in a kurta pajama...singing bheegay hont tere in a boat....n just wen they make a move to kiss..u'll see 2 sunflowers standing next to each oder....so its not hard to figure out dat in 3hr movie...u'll be straing at sunflowers for a 2 hrs...
but come to hell.....n see d magic of celluloid..n all the credits goes to d censor board cheif...mr imraan hashmi...no cuts in any movie...no burkhaas allowed...n certainly..no staring at sunfloweres...thak devil for cinema!!
fast food...is a thing never hered here...pizza n burger are as familiar words to d ppl here as microchips r to donkeys...n reason given for no Mcdonalds' here ....is dat all dat McAalo tikki burger n french fries..increase ur cholestrol..n can cause heart attak...now dey surely missed dere science classes...how can i have a have attack..when i'm made ok smoke...i mean already dead...
but as expexted..no such issues in HELL...dominoz...pizza hut have a flourishing business here
everyday routine of ppl in heaven..also needs real improvements....ppl here have just one thing to do...sit in d green grass for months...n meditate....as dere beard grows longer that kajol's hair...
well dey cant be blamed either....with all the things such as tv....cellfones...ipods...computers...internet.. all banned coz dey r 'material' things....people n just sit n meditate....one of dem told me that they r not meditating...but praying to get d HELL outta here ....
These r just some of the findings of my 2000page report...on which God will be setting a committe..to find ways to change things in heaven soon....
And so...as per the deal...i've booked my seat in hell for the future...but as of now..i get my life back,...
so....the straight line...on d machine called somthing like 'd heart beat graph'...got an electric shock...the nurse screemed....chamatkaaaaaaaar ho gaya..n fainted...when she me waving my hand n winking at her....i was alive...alive n kicking
so guys.... if u also wanna be in the most happenning place after u die....its time to put a check on good deeds u do....its time to wake up the evil in u....get out dere...rob someone...throw some one of the cliff...n get ur seat booked...before they run out...
see u in HELL...
Sunday, August 06, 2006
You are...my friend
First…happy friendship day to all of u…i hope I’m right this time n not wishing u guys a week in advance…coz this what I did with a couple of my friends…wishing them on the 1st of this month…well there was some confusion abt friendship day being on the 1st day of august…or on the 1st Sunday of aug.
The fact that I’m writing this post at abt 6 in the evening proves that I’m not going out with any friends tonite… no..i’m not a sorry, lonely soul….wondering y don people like to hang out with me…its just that my gang members r not in delhi right now…hemant is in manipal…kaushik n vaibhav in pune n Mumbai respectively…n A.D(aaditya) in Chennai…cutting human flesh( he is pursuing his mbbs dere)…hope that they r having as much fun..n creating as much chaos..as we did while together…
Hey..i almost forgot to mention her name again…may coz we r related…that’s why I hardly ever realize that she’s also a friend…in fact…as good as anyone…I’m talking abt my cousin….garima…she’s d only one in delhi rite now….and this post is dedicated to her (happy now??)..
Just like all these guys…she’s also got this amazing strength of tolerating me day after day after day…we both r on the same wavelength…have almost identical views about most things…she helps me out with all my problems…rite from how to impress the gals in my class…to solving my maths problems…especially when I was preparing fro my infosys test…..n she would go mad about me not being able to solve even the most simplest of problems…
But she never stopped trying though…n it was only through relentless efforts of trying to make me understand the relation between speed, distance n time…that I managed to clear the test…the success though was short lived..as I was kicked out d interview the next day..
But again…she was the 1st person to cheer me up…I hope she gets all the best things in life
Now most ppl have one..or at the most 2 “best friends”…friend with whom they can share everything…talk to him/her about all their problems…have a blind faith…that he/she will be there…even in the toughest of times/…n u doin the same for that person..
But as far as I’m concerned, all the names that I’ve mentioned above, fall into that category…now u might feel that I’m weird…n have a tendency of spilling my guts in front of any one …well…all I can say to that is…I’m about five times as lucky as you..
Coz seriously..each of these guys is a gem of a person..n i can count of them on helping me out…even if rang up dere doorbell..at 2 in the morning…saying “I just killed the corrupt defense Minster..the police is after me..plz lemme hide in your house” …
So..once again…happy friendship day to all of u..have a blast…n always remember..friends are the most important people in our life…just after our parents..so never do anything to break their hearts
The fact that I’m writing this post at abt 6 in the evening proves that I’m not going out with any friends tonite… no..i’m not a sorry, lonely soul….wondering y don people like to hang out with me…its just that my gang members r not in delhi right now…hemant is in manipal…kaushik n vaibhav in pune n Mumbai respectively…n A.D(aaditya) in Chennai…cutting human flesh( he is pursuing his mbbs dere)…hope that they r having as much fun..n creating as much chaos..as we did while together…
Hey..i almost forgot to mention her name again…may coz we r related…that’s why I hardly ever realize that she’s also a friend…in fact…as good as anyone…I’m talking abt my cousin….garima…she’s d only one in delhi rite now….and this post is dedicated to her (happy now??)..
Just like all these guys…she’s also got this amazing strength of tolerating me day after day after day…we both r on the same wavelength…have almost identical views about most things…she helps me out with all my problems…rite from how to impress the gals in my class…to solving my maths problems…especially when I was preparing fro my infosys test…..n she would go mad about me not being able to solve even the most simplest of problems…
But she never stopped trying though…n it was only through relentless efforts of trying to make me understand the relation between speed, distance n time…that I managed to clear the test…the success though was short lived..as I was kicked out d interview the next day..
But again…she was the 1st person to cheer me up…I hope she gets all the best things in life
Now most ppl have one..or at the most 2 “best friends”…friend with whom they can share everything…talk to him/her about all their problems…have a blind faith…that he/she will be there…even in the toughest of times/…n u doin the same for that person..
But as far as I’m concerned, all the names that I’ve mentioned above, fall into that category…now u might feel that I’m weird…n have a tendency of spilling my guts in front of any one …well…all I can say to that is…I’m about five times as lucky as you..
Coz seriously..each of these guys is a gem of a person..n i can count of them on helping me out…even if rang up dere doorbell..at 2 in the morning…saying “I just killed the corrupt defense Minster..the police is after me..plz lemme hide in your house” …
So..once again…happy friendship day to all of u..have a blast…n always remember..friends are the most important people in our life…just after our parents..so never do anything to break their hearts
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
a whole lot of space
just came back from a walk outside..it was yet another normal day wen i had nothing to do...have had enough of these now..i hear people wanting 3-4 sundays per week, but when u've been having a sunday everyday for a month..its not very good...
so did d usual stuff..got up late..yellled at my little sis..apprantly..she didn like the idea of me tying up both her pony tails while she was asleep last night..but i thoought that was qiute neat coz she didn fell a thing while i was at it...threw all the banana peals ito my neighbours backyard...then bugged mom..to the extent that she said ki i coundnt be her son. This is how the conversation went:
mom(almost into tears): you cant be my son. i still remeber the day at d hospital when i 1st saw u..u were so cute..tender..looking handsome already..n i said to myself "aila..another tom, cruise in the making"..n now look at u..turning into a bhoot, straight out of a B grade ramsay movie. why the hell did i take u to dat kumbh mela when u were 10 dyas old..u must have got exchanged..
me(with a quick check in the mirror) : yeah..i also feel the same...coz wen i 1st saw you in the hospital..i said wow...my mommy looks like hema malini..n now with an overdoze of ekta kapoor soaps..u like that chachi from sita aur gita...yeah that kumbh mela turned out to be a disaster
d weather is rather good these days after the rains..n sky looked very clear which is rare thing for poeple living in delhi and it brought back fond memories of my childhood, when all i wanted to do was become an astronomer. used to stare at the sky for long hours in the night...tried to do dat during the day once..n just managed to avoid a crow shitting on my face...so night seemed to be the best time for this buddying astronomer..coz u could actually see stars during the night..and also..no crows flying around shitting on people's faces...but an age when my carrer plans changed at frequency at which tulsi starts crying in kyuonki...astronomy just remained a hobby..
but all dis stuff is actually quite fascinating...just think abt it..there r abt 100billion stars in every galaxy and dere abt 100billion galaxies in space..so even if 0.001% of stars have planets around supproting life...dere could more of these weired things like me..suddenly i don feel alone..also each galaxy just like our very own milky way is so vast..dat like travelling at 3lakh kmph takes many many years to pass it..n u thought that poor old adnam sami was huge!!....
and then dere r the black holes..no..i'm not talking about ur nostrills...black holes form wen huge stars die..in short a black hole is aplace where gravity has gone mad..nothing can escape it..not evn light...if u manage to get into one ..ur head n ur legs wil be torn apart and thrown in opposite directions..while the rest of ur body will be trying to figure out which part to follow...would be nice to throw Sharma uncle(living 2 flours above me) into it though..doesent lets me even catch a glimpse of his daughter ..who btw is a raell hottie
well this is turning out to be a lecture in astronomy...so i'l just cut the crap
my sister is sleeping...what shud i do 2nite..perhaps oil painting her hair(i hope u understand my obsession with hair..if not..read my 1st post)...just 2day she was talking abt getting her hair coloured...i'll do it for her..n impress mom by saving her a whole lot of money..time to wake up the artist in me...mf hussain..here i come
so did d usual stuff..got up late..yellled at my little sis..apprantly..she didn like the idea of me tying up both her pony tails while she was asleep last night..but i thoought that was qiute neat coz she didn fell a thing while i was at it...threw all the banana peals ito my neighbours backyard...then bugged mom..to the extent that she said ki i coundnt be her son. This is how the conversation went:
mom(almost into tears): you cant be my son. i still remeber the day at d hospital when i 1st saw u..u were so cute..tender..looking handsome already..n i said to myself "aila..another tom, cruise in the making"..n now look at u..turning into a bhoot, straight out of a B grade ramsay movie. why the hell did i take u to dat kumbh mela when u were 10 dyas old..u must have got exchanged..
me(with a quick check in the mirror) : yeah..i also feel the same...coz wen i 1st saw you in the hospital..i said wow...my mommy looks like hema malini..n now with an overdoze of ekta kapoor soaps..u like that chachi from sita aur gita...yeah that kumbh mela turned out to be a disaster
d weather is rather good these days after the rains..n sky looked very clear which is rare thing for poeple living in delhi and it brought back fond memories of my childhood, when all i wanted to do was become an astronomer. used to stare at the sky for long hours in the night...tried to do dat during the day once..n just managed to avoid a crow shitting on my face...so night seemed to be the best time for this buddying astronomer..coz u could actually see stars during the night..and also..no crows flying around shitting on people's faces...but an age when my carrer plans changed at frequency at which tulsi starts crying in kyuonki...astronomy just remained a hobby..
but all dis stuff is actually quite fascinating...just think abt it..there r abt 100billion stars in every galaxy and dere abt 100billion galaxies in space..so even if 0.001% of stars have planets around supproting life...dere could more of these weired things like me..suddenly i don feel alone..also each galaxy just like our very own milky way is so vast..dat like travelling at 3lakh kmph takes many many years to pass it..n u thought that poor old adnam sami was huge!!....
and then dere r the black holes..no..i'm not talking about ur nostrills...black holes form wen huge stars die..in short a black hole is aplace where gravity has gone mad..nothing can escape it..not evn light...if u manage to get into one ..ur head n ur legs wil be torn apart and thrown in opposite directions..while the rest of ur body will be trying to figure out which part to follow...would be nice to throw Sharma uncle(living 2 flours above me) into it though..doesent lets me even catch a glimpse of his daughter ..who btw is a raell hottie
well this is turning out to be a lecture in astronomy...so i'l just cut the crap
my sister is sleeping...what shud i do 2nite..perhaps oil painting her hair(i hope u understand my obsession with hair..if not..read my 1st post)...just 2day she was talking abt getting her hair coloured...i'll do it for her..n impress mom by saving her a whole lot of money..time to wake up the artist in me...mf hussain..here i come
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
maa ka aahirwaad
they say every new thing should start with ones 'maa ka aashirwaad'...so i'm starting my 1st blog with my mom in mind.. not quite by touching her feet n she putting a tika on my forehead..but being rather surprised by wat she just did...more on dat in a while..and a thing or two about me...
passed out of engg collg in 2005..(which now looks as far as when man 1st discovered bad breath n finally decided to brush his teeth)....n been looking for a job since..did a few courses in between but dat didn help lot..but lets no get into dat...n result is me having lots of free time..so much so dat 2day i had an idea of counting my hair to kill time...now dis might seem a bit weired to a few of u..but in a family where 90% of ones hair are gone till u hit 35... hair r considered as precious as maharaja baboosha's crown...i might as well count them while they r there..
but even after d amt of free time i had..it was only the following incidents made it sure that u r reading dis: ... a death threat from osama.. 2 days of masoor ki daal..n a curse from a frnd dat i'll be giving d hairy anil kapoor a body massage if i don start....now dat might look n interesting prospect to a few people(read gay) around..but i'm still far far away from dat sort of insanity..
also m counting big time that..with my blogs hopefully getting better over time..i actually succede in impressing some girls...
coming back to that mom story...its abt 1am..n i'm thinking ki moms sleeping peacefully n dreaming abt stuffing me with more of that masoor ki daal n ghiya ki subzi..when suddenleny the door of my room is banged open n i see her staring at me with those kasauti zindagi ki type looks...i quickly run a mental chek up of things...d music is turned low...i didn spill milk in d wash basin..brushed my teech also...wats up with mom den..??
n before i cud give her a look of - mommy i didn do anything- she starts making a million complains..."mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hia..main bour ho rahi hoon..mujhe bhook lagi hia.."
all those girls at school n collg who didn hang out with me saying i was weired..guess now u no were those genes coming from..but sereiosly...being d mommy of a guy who finds jayalalitha hot..can to get to ur head once in a while..
but deres a silver lining too..mom feeling hungry ..means time for a late night snak for me 2...n just i was starting to realize dat d weired sounds i'm hearing r coming from my tummy..n worrying dat even d smell of next meal called breakfast is almost 8hrs away... i get a freshly made...lime coated bhutta...who says santa comes on christmas eve (for dose of u coming from mars n uranus ..bhutta is hindi for corn)...
n look wat..i've actually written my 1st blog...dat creepy idea from my frnd(who happens to be a real gud blogger herself)...of body massaging anil kapoor really worked..not to mention the 'maa ka aashirwaad' the bhutta at 1am
passed out of engg collg in 2005..(which now looks as far as when man 1st discovered bad breath n finally decided to brush his teeth)....n been looking for a job since..did a few courses in between but dat didn help lot..but lets no get into dat...n result is me having lots of free time..so much so dat 2day i had an idea of counting my hair to kill time...now dis might seem a bit weired to a few of u..but in a family where 90% of ones hair are gone till u hit 35... hair r considered as precious as maharaja baboosha's crown...i might as well count them while they r there..
but even after d amt of free time i had..it was only the following incidents made it sure that u r reading dis: ... a death threat from osama.. 2 days of masoor ki daal..n a curse from a frnd dat i'll be giving d hairy anil kapoor a body massage if i don start....now dat might look n interesting prospect to a few people(read gay) around..but i'm still far far away from dat sort of insanity..
also m counting big time that..with my blogs hopefully getting better over time..i actually succede in impressing some girls...
coming back to that mom story...its abt 1am..n i'm thinking ki moms sleeping peacefully n dreaming abt stuffing me with more of that masoor ki daal n ghiya ki subzi..when suddenleny the door of my room is banged open n i see her staring at me with those kasauti zindagi ki type looks...i quickly run a mental chek up of things...d music is turned low...i didn spill milk in d wash basin..brushed my teech also...wats up with mom den..??
n before i cud give her a look of - mommy i didn do anything- she starts making a million complains..."mujhe neend nahi aa rahi hia..main bour ho rahi hoon..mujhe bhook lagi hia.."
all those girls at school n collg who didn hang out with me saying i was weired..guess now u no were those genes coming from..but sereiosly...being d mommy of a guy who finds jayalalitha hot..can to get to ur head once in a while..
but deres a silver lining too..mom feeling hungry ..means time for a late night snak for me 2...n just i was starting to realize dat d weired sounds i'm hearing r coming from my tummy..n worrying dat even d smell of next meal called breakfast is almost 8hrs away... i get a freshly made...lime coated bhutta...who says santa comes on christmas eve (for dose of u coming from mars n uranus ..bhutta is hindi for corn)...
n look wat..i've actually written my 1st blog...dat creepy idea from my frnd(who happens to be a real gud blogger herself)...of body massaging anil kapoor really worked..not to mention the 'maa ka aashirwaad' the bhutta at 1am
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